A truly bad 2 weeks!! Two events 'conspired' to bring me to my knees. Each event was instigated on its own, but being together, they put me on the receiving end of a double smashing of my mind, my emotions, my self esteem, my self confidence, my days. No steps forward and 5 steps back!
I was swirling around and down the upper edges of a cone shaped miasma; unable to stop myself as I plummeted down, whilst trying to claw onto the side of the cone. I needed urgent help and the Samaritans were my saving lifeline.
Not a life threatening episode, but a blood-letting 'need.' How to cope with the dark days of the un-cope-able? Knowing the release of blood brings euphoria of an unnatural kind. Feeling the pain releasing the anger of what cannot be fought. Taking the mind away from the devils in the brain. In short, diversionary tactics for a mind in torment.
I'm to see my 'specialist' in a couple of days and I want to know what can be done with my medication. I feel that the problem comes under the 'label' of clinical depression rather than Bipolar. It isn't a mood swing, it's a nosedive into a pit.
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