Herding Of Cats

This lot appeared from somewhere in my mind where odd thoughts occur. I think that Dylan Thomas may have been a bit of a prompt. All I can say to make the piece more acceptable, if you want to soldier through it, is to read it out aloud. Words spoken with force, carry more of the intensity of the emotion behind the word. Don't worry about finding words that you have never seen or heard before. It's the sound and resonance of that sound that I am after. If you say "crackle" out aloud, you'll get a feeling of what I have tried to achieve with some words here below. Good luck.




HERDING OF CATS



Herding cats into the football stadium,
half empty
with gangs of Social Workers
who skreated and breated,
their animated throat-burning,
blood-curdling skrines
at that herd,
as they sploshingly began
hurling, water-filled, pink balloons at the cats,
Was not a good idea.

Squadroons of ill-tempered manx-tailed muggies,
brasted on olde hemp wine, and fired up with a passion
best kept for tin roofs
threw one another
at the rapidly blanching Sociatumpalists,
who tripped in their hundreds,
backing up the crumbling, cronkeeted terraces
of the Stadium.
Seasoned Ticket holders
fared worst,
whitened to the digital equivalent
of minus 3.

Hosepipes were deployed
to no avail.
Poltroons of muggies
scoffed at the audacity,
scorned the mendacity,
of broadcasts by tannoys,
supplied by Walmart.
Sneering through fur,
at a voice electronically enhanced,
while panicking Socios
realised with aplumb
the hosepipes were useless
with no water switched on.

Cats 4 Social Workists 0
Herds can be powered,
managed and armied,
by elitists in scabbie cabals,
but no-one told the muggies.

This tale was told across the shimmering amber embers of a pine fuelled carbon burner, by an actor of renown, who hasn’t looked back since he played the dumping end of a pantomime horse.

Regard it as a flight of fantasy or paws for digression.

PS
By the way, there is a hosepipe ban in the south east of this country because of a drought order. There is a dramatic drop in water levels because of very low rainfall.




I have no idea from whence this piece came, except to say that I've been readin' political-commentator-stuff, of late. Welcome to the other side. Who needs a pendulum when you've got Bipolar.? Why don't dictionaries open at the page you want? It's very frustrating. Especially looking for yer pendulums.